Comparison Running Rampant

The Comparison Game & It's Cure

It’s Sunday night after a lovely week of time spent with my partner and his family in the beautiful countryside in Wales. I was surrounded by happy dogs, joyful reunions and chatter, delicious and carb laden meals, and fresh air like I’ve never experienced it. I had three complete days (Christmas Eve to Boxing Day) which were almost entirely unplugged. Present.

By the 27th, I am back in “work mode” to develop my annual Notion template (this is my fourth iteration), prepare for my 2026 RESET workshops (one academic reset for Accepted Society and another for anyone who wishes to join), write newsletter sequences, etc. I enjoy the work but as I look around at my partner and his family playing with toddlers, enjoying a snooze or reading on their tablets, I think that should be me.

I scroll on Instagram. A friend has completed a chapter of their dissertation. Another has gotten engaged. My sister is with my family in California and visits her horse Duchess. Why not me?

I am sat on the couch in stained sweatpants clicking away at the formulas in a notion database, praying it will work for whoever purchases it. I think to the YouTube videos I need to film and pre-film this week. To the Instagram content that needs making and scheduling. To the emails that need writing. And most importantly of all: all that must be done in order to focus on the dissertation. I think to when I was studying for my Masters with nothing more than my studies and one weekly YouTube video to produce. Why am I not productive as I was then?

I compare my present to my past. To the present of my peers. To the idealized version of “me” that sometimes likes to taunt me, like the devil upon my shoulder.

And then I am reminded of all the wonderful things which made it possible for me to be here. I make my notion template each year because people seem to enjoy them. Members in my community support me each year by purchasing my template. And for that I am grateful. In fact, my templates are part of the reason I have any money in my savings account in the first place.

Comparison, while in some cases can offer a flame of motivation, can (in large doses) lead one to doubt, to scrutinize in a way which is both unproductive and unhealthy.

What I am learning from this is that:

1. Maybe I shouldn’t make a new template next year - I enjoy creating my template each year but due to the time of year, it often impinges on family time. Time when I wish most to enjoy their company and to unwind. I am taking note of this and perhaps considering that next year I might not make an entirely new template.

2. I need to reduce my screen time again - I have waves of time when I am pretty detached from my phone but the past 48 hours have been a constant example of what happens when I do not set firm boundaries. I compare. I begin wanting things I do not have and, in many cases, don’t actually want right now.

3. The greatest cure for comparison is gratitude - I have always said that the best way to avoid the plight of comparison is to cheer on others as loudly and as kindly as you can. To support and cheer on their wins. And I stand by this, but I think there is another layer. We need to be reminded to be grateful. To check in with ourselves and address just how incredible it is that we are here in this moment: (hopefully) healthy, capable, curious, etc.

Comparison is the thief of joy and so tonight I will log off of Instagram and LinkedIn. I will scroll through my notion template (launching tomorrow) and be grateful that this ritual has served me and others over the years and be grateful that this may be my last (but don’t worry, the templates aren’t going anywhere! I just might not make them around Christmas next year).

Christmas in Wales